How to Want What You Have By Doing Happy!

Being Happy Versus Doing Happy

“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” – Margaret Lee Runbeck

There are millions of books and quotes that tell people how to be happy. To Be Happy semantically illustrates a state of existence. Operating like being happy is something to be achieved may actually be stopping many people from feeling long-term happiness. Happiness is also too vague. It almost seems to be generally the absence of pain, the absence of loss, the absence of fear, the absence of loneliness, etc. But if we can only be happy, no one in the world would be happy. We all hurt. We all mourn. Sometimes we’re all afraid. At times, we are all lonely.

The trick is to learn to be happy in spite of it all!

The only way to be happy in spite of it all is to relinquish all your expectations. If you have no expectations you cannot be disappointed. If you have come to terms with the worst that can happen, your fear has no power to steal even an ounce of joy from you. Our expectations stand in the way of us fully accepting God’s plan.

You may expect that if you work hard for a steady company, stay late, network, that you’ll be promoted, have security, and eventually collect a comfortable pension. God’s plan might be that you are meant to be an entrepreneur with courage to strike out on your own. God’s plan might be that you find something that you are so passionate about that you never retire or collect a pension. Perhaps you work until the day you die.

“Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.”

 Alexander Graham Bell

You might expect to be married with three kids by the time you are twenty-eight. You might expect that you’ll live in a single family home, with a picket fenced lawn, a dog, and be a stay at home mom. These expectations can make you bitter if God’s gifts to you, his plan for your life, include being a mom to one child in a flat in New York, while working at a job that provides more money than fulfillment.

Our expectations make us unhappy. But if we came to life like students, like beginners, even like beggars, who would not be able to appreciate the gifts they were given.

 “Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have.” Rabbi Hyman Schachtel

We may recognize our blessings and even be somewhat grateful for them, but if we have different expectations we take our blessings for granted and feel kind of disappointed, and what a sin that is. It is a sin to God for not giving sincere praise for the wonderful things we have in our life, and it is a sin against that wonderful thing or person or situation that we are lucky enough to have.

How do we begin to get rid of our expectations? How do you want what you have? Here are just a few ways to learn to want what you have:

1.       Watch less TV. Television shows are action-packed with unrealistic visions of life. How can we hope to have a real life compete with one that has been surgically enhanced, has a full-time nanny, has the benefit of inherited wealth, etc.

2.       Recogize things for what they are and not how nice they seem. Your co-worker with the 3500 square foot home, the Lexus, and the SUV looks like he’s on top of the world. He actually is on top of a lot of debt and probably doesn’t have the freedom you do, or as much savings.

That super fit gym rat looks like he must be happy and probably in a long-term relationship and is adored by her. In actually, he has to watch every little thing he eats, he spends so much time in the gym, that he neglects his relationships, his spirit, and his mind.

3.       Read fewer magazines. The images are often more unrealistic than those on television.

4.       Count your blessings.

Realize that each one of them is temporary and can be taken away in an instant. Name them one by one and realize each moment you have with your child, parent, sibling, spouse, friend is a gift. At any moment God could call them home.

5.       Read biographies. Our struggles connect us.

6.       Use what you have. Too many people have blessings stored away in their lives that they never use. Books gathering dust in closets or attics that haven’t been read in years. When is the last time you read Moby Dick, something by Napoleon Hill, or your favorite spiritual literature? Pull it out. Be inspired! Many people have creative skills that they haven’t used in years. Do you paint or draw, or are you a beautiful writer? Write! Do you have a blender, or miter saw, or dance shoes that are gathering dust? Do you have a beautiful voice? Make a smoothie! Hang some drywall! Dance! Sing!

7.       Read the world section of the newspaper. Seeing how little others have can help you appreciate the huge things you take for granted every day: libraries, public schools, grocery stores, clean water, the right to vote, the right to drive, religious freedom…

8.       Give thanks for your life. Every second 1 or 2 people dies are taking their last breath. (http://www.wholesomewords.org/missions/greatc.html)

9.       Give thanks for your legs, your arms, your mouth, whatever blessings you have. Somewhere there are many people who would love to have your gifts.

10.   Smile. Your face is a reflection of how disappointed or happy you are with what you have. When you are feeling grateful for something, show it!

11.   Hug someone and tell them how happy and how lucky you are that you have them. Tell them often. If you are too far for a hug, tell them in an email or over the phone, on twitter, on facebook, wherever. Just tell them.

Being grateful is a habit. It is one we have to cultivate and encourage in our spirits. Practice taking nothing for granted. NOTHING! Your gratefulness for the little things (which are not actually little at all) is a prayer of thanks… why not do this every day, all day, and forever? The world will look different to you… you’ll recognize so much beauty that was always there. Put on your rosy colored glasses!

Today I’m going for another mammogram. The doctor says that no matter what it looks like, he’s probably going to recommend that I see a surgeon. I’m a little freaked out. Just when I thought I could take a breath… relax about this mass in my chest… but I’m grateful I have a doctor who is cautious with my health. I’m grateful that I have health insurance. I’m grateful I live in a country where there are so many great radiologists, oncologists, and surgeons. I’m grateful I have a friend who will come with me and hold my hand at the surgeon’s office.

And right now… I’m grateful for my boobs. J And if one has to go, I’ll be grateful for my new one!

So today… be grateful. Really grateful. Love yourself, your friends, this moment…

Love,

True

I’d be truly grateful for any prayers you send my way …